The typical Nigerian wedding is usually big and grand. It is more than the coming together of a man and a woman, it’s a celebration for both families.

To this end, many intending couples spend millions of Naira on their wedding day. This is because of several reasons. Some do this to prove a point that they are very wealthy.

Others do it to “pepper” their friends and family, especially when their first son or daughter is getting married. A great number spend money that they don’t have for their wedding because they feel that day is special and it should be celebrated, even if it means they go broke.

It is different when you have the money to celebrate, it’s a different ball game when you have to take a loan or start borrowing from friends to have a grand celebration.

Photo of Priscilla Ojo and Chioma Good hair at JP2025

One funny situation that has been going on for years in places like Nigeria is when female friends solicit support for their weddings. They go as far as “billing” their friends, stating a certain amount that they want as financial support from them.

We understand that in Nigeria, we have the “community” mindset, and we are used to coming through for each other. However, that mindset may be your undoing when it comes to family and friends.

To feel entitled to someone’s income is just another dose of crazy. In Nigeria, people practically send you their wedding list and ask you to state which of the bills you desire to clear.

Is it our wedding? Why must we all empty our accounts on top of your conjugal bliss? When did your wedding become our wedding?

Backbiting is simply malicious talk about someone who is not present, according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

It simply means that no matter how you sugar coat it, when you say spiteful things behind a person knowing fully well that they cannot defend themselves at that moment, it is backbiting.

Why do women always feel the need to “talk”. When I say “talk’ i do not mean passing comments or just harmless statements. We say things to bring down another woman. Even if its just about their makeup, or its about that dress or maybe their job.

Just because you said it behind them and also had the audacity to repeat it in front of them doesn’t in any way make it less harmful. You said what you say right? You must be proud of yourself.

Dear woman, I hope we resist the urge to have an opinion for everything or anything that we see. I hope we realise that most of the time our opinions in an issue is simply unsolicted.

In our quest to be seen as mindful or interested in the well being of others, we spread our lips everywhere, now talking about things that entirely doesn’t concern us.

The bitter truth remains that backbiting will always be all shades of wrong. Will you be proud to say those things you said behind your supposed friend? Have you even had a conversation about all of your concerns that you now feel the need to say the things behind them.

Will female friendships ever be devoid of backbiting?. Or is it a reality that we just have to sit with, take a deep breath and say ” as long as we are women, we are not getting out of this”. Is backbiting our normal normal or we can really do better?